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The following essay I wrote back when I first applied to Deep Springs College. I'd been waiting confirmation as to whether or not it was a worthwhile essay, and in light of my acceptance, I suppose I can be a pompous airbag and post this. Even if it isn't as perfect as I'd like it to be.
"O God, I could be bounded in a "An all-male school, in the middle of nowhere, where you spend half your waking hours doing manual labor. That's where you want to go to college?" And sheepishly I say yes. It seems like I spend a lot of my time nowadays trying to explain to friends, parents, and worse yet, parents' friends, why I want to go to Deep Springs. Usually the best I can do on the spur of the moment is to tell them a little bit about the school, listing the advantages and sweeping the disadvantages quietly under the table. My real rationale for wanting to go to Deep Springs is more about willing limitation of personal choice in the interest of personal gain, but if I said something like that in casual conversation, they'd really think I was weird. So I list the positive things about Deep Springs--you've already experienced these and are probably tired of reading them, as am I tired of telling them to such people--a two-year free college program that typically develops students qualified to transfer to the university of their choice. In the meantime, I tell them, one studies a broad band of liberal arts and sciences, does a number of jobs for the farm, and becomes a leader and worker in a community. On top of this, I continue, the school is entirely in the wilderness, where I try to be as often as I can, by backpacking or going out to East Texas. I suppose if I were more well read or verbose on the matter of nature I'd probably start citing various transcendentalist theories for my inquisitors, but at this point in the conversation I'm already trying to change the subject. If I have to I quietly mention the inevitable difficulties of the matter. The typical ones I list are the complete isolation of the college, the very small number of people accepted, the fact there are no girls, and that I will probably spend a fair amount of time working on something as non-academic as washing dishes, milking cows, or cleaning out a basement full of old clothes. Furthermore, the work demanded makes sure that Heinlein's quip about the nonexistence of free lunches remains true. Usually the questioner takes this hasty explanation and deduces that I am either too young to really know what I am doing or am otherwise looking for an entirely sheltered lifestyle where I can spend my first two years of adult life. "A kingdom of infinite space" Maybe they're right in thinking that, but I have a feeling I'm not so unaware or prudish as to choose Deep Springs without a good rationale. The better explanation comes not out of the obvious advantages or disadvantages--two years of college tuition or twenty hour weeks of labor in the wilderness, or even (check number) eight quarters of studying liberal arts--is nothing all that singularly amazing. What is amazing about Deep Springs is that it is a place where a complete change in the nature of available personal choices can be beneficial. The nature of the college closes off a number of everyday choices I've taken for granted, but at the same time it demands an entire array of decisions that I have never had to make. Both this restriction and this emancipation are part of making me a better person. Perhaps it is merely the Nietzschian follower in me to say that restrictions upon my personal liberty will make me stronger. After all, Deep Springs removes a number of choices I am usually able to make--like going to the movies, or playing in a lacrosse game, or going camping with my Explorer Post, and replaces them with regulated isolation, rigorous academic study, and regular routines of manual labor. But somehow I think it is better to follow another existentialist allegory--imagine a man who is in prison chained to a wall. He can hardly move, but nonetheless his choices run the whole gamut from knocking himself unconscious, trying to work himself free, cursing at the guards, or plotting the next revolution. If someone so restricted has that many choices, how many choices does an individual have in everyday life? The understanding of restricted choice, even through something so vicarious as an allegory, helps one understand the infinite number of choices free individuals must have. This is not to say that the institution of Deep Springs is as restrictive as a prison, but I cannot see how its removing mundane choices cannot accentuate the utter and inevitable importance of the freedom of every individual. "Something there because nothing else is," Robert Pirsig wrote about the empty wilderness he was traveling across. Living in a nutshell as such for a few years can prepare one to better understand the kingdom of infinite space to come. And at the same time, Deep Springs is in its own way not a nutshell but just such a kingdom of infinite space. From everything I've read and seen of it, Deep Springs is a place where the student must make decisions widely unavailable to most people his age--on matters such as running a small business, hiring faculty, planning curriculum and accepting or denying applicants such as me. It is a place where one must lead a group of individuals and succeed. Undoubtedly some of these choices will be difficult to make and I will make mistakes, but this is entirely part of the learning process, and being forced to make decisions on matters to which I have not been exposed will allow me to clarify my values and thus better understand myself. Finally, the remoteness of nature exposes one particularly important set of choices. Especially in the city where daily life moves on with cursory speed, the things I must do keep me away from a large number of choices and dreams I have regrettably deferred, choices like "What do you want to do with your life?" and "What is quality-based metaphysics?" They are all probably too absurd to be answered and perhaps are but youthful dreams, but the pondering is worthwhile because it improves my understanding of who I am. If I somehow manage to arrive at your doorstep again, the most I can expect to get from Deep Springs is a better understanding of myself. Surely the wilderness will be nice, the manual labor worthwhile, the academic work enlightening, and the community involvement instructive, but this is all part of a whole that is myself. While I'm at the point of listing a few specifics though, I would like to start taking piano lessons again, spend some time camping out in the valley, maybe help run the webserver and learn some more programming, and if at all possible try my hand at farm mechanics. Anything else that might get thrown my way at Deep Springs could probably be just as worthwhile, but those were some particulars I'd like to do in my two-year stay. TANSTAAFL "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch," Robert Heinlein wrote. It's probably more true than we like to believe. So far I've pretty much explained why I am willing to buy into Deep Springs. Now it's time to explain what I can pay. The most I can offer is all I am: a strong back and hard head and a few skills I've picked up along the way. I'm afraid I'm not as amazing as some of the applicants who come your way; I'm not a 1600 type of person nor one who has received any major national awards, at least none of outstanding significance. But I can at least promise that I would have no qualms with the necessity of manual labor, academic study, and community involvement. Over the years I have spent a considerable amount of the time with my father working, either on the construction of our new house or in the operation of the family business, which is somehow a strange mix of law office and Brahman cattle ranch. I am by no means especially proficient in any of these fields, but the exposure has provided a cognizance of the matters and has more importantly given me a great appreciation, or perhaps merely a tolerance, for manual labor. As a student what I can contribute is only what any instructor must expect: an effort for class preparation, an ability to understand and synthesize ideas, and a desire to communicate those ideas to other people. As a community member I can promise the same interest in involvement that has made me a leader in my Explorer Post, the school wrestling team, and two active clubs at school. Finally, I would not be so grandiose as to aim to change the college or even its members as a contribution, but if a willingness to assist in the current operation of the college is not sufficient in your minds and something of greater contribution is necessary, I can but offer the few skills in which I am somewhat proficient. My most economical skill is in computers regrettably, a field in which I have definite concerns for its economy. Nonetheless over the past few years I've taught myself successively AppleScript, Lisp, HTML, Perl (a web cgi-programming language), UNIX (in particular the free version of UNIX known as Linux, although fortune has made other breeds cross my path), and recently a very small smattering of C++. The practical applications of all of this is relatively small and perhaps particularly so for a college of your size, but if there were ever a need to fix a computer, set up a cheap server, work on any web pages, write a particular program, or teach on any of these matters, I could do so. I know nowadays the web is like a great party with everybody getting on the bandwagon and I'd hate to sound like that, but here I go:
http://www.artifex.org/~hblanks The last skill I can offer is backpacking and camping. I know that that's not what Deep Springs is all about; I only offer it to say that if there exists people of such interests at Deep Springs, I would be a most wholehearted supporter of it. The Exploring (it has recently become Venturing) program of Boy Scouts, which involves youth up to the age of 21, has been one of the best things that I have ever been a part of, and if the interest exists, I have no qualms contributing anything I've managed to gain from it. Everything I've heard, read, and seen of Deep Springs has led me to believe that the experience is worth everything I can offer. I have done my best to explain what has brought me to this conclusion, saying what I expect to receive, and how I expect to pay. Now the deal is in your hands.
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